


“-I’m Nothing Whatever At All”

by Twilight_Shadow_Songs



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: AU, First movie only, Kristoff is a Huldre, M/M, Monster - Freeform, Not Canon Compliant, huldre
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:54:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24636394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twilight_Shadow_Songs/pseuds/Twilight_Shadow_Songs
Summary: Hans and the diplomats are washed onto the shore after a storm shipwrecks them. They are two or three days from the castle.Kristoff is the odd mountain man who finds them and takes them to Arendelle.There’s two things Hans can say for sure; One is that Kristoff is a decent, kind man who won’t hurt them willingly. And the other being Kristoff isn’t human in any sense aside from his kindness.
Relationships: Hans/Kristoff (Disney)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 46





	1. Kristoff

When Hans volunteered to go as diplomat to Arendelle he had ulterior motives. Elsa has politely denied any and all letters that amounted to marriage proposals from most other countries, but there was a younger sister, a back door if you would, into Arendelle’s royal family. 

And Hans was never going to amount to anything at home with twelve older brothers overshadowing him.

The journey was a small price to pay, dealing with the Duke of Wesselton was a small price to pay. It was going to be worth it, he had to make it worth it.

And then the storm hit. 

There were some casualties, unfortunately none of them included the Duke. Luckily Saffron wasn’t one, either. They’d washed up on a rocky shore some miles from the castle. If he craned his neck he could just make the towers out. 

They stayed an afternoon on the shore to dry off in the colder air (summer, it was summer but it was eons colder than anything he was used to) before Hans couldn’t take the Duke’s moaning. 

With barely a word to anyone else Hans began climbing, gloves in his pockets, to get to an area he could safely walk. 

He probably should have seen getting lost in ten minutes coming, to be perfectly honest. This wasn’t his home, this wasn’t an area he could possibly know. This oversight was something he’d berate himself for later but honestly he loved not hearing that crazy little dignitary right now. 

“You lost?” 

Hans exercised all his control to not jump and whirl around. He turned slowly to an area he’d been very certain was empty a few moments between the trees and rocks. A blond man was leaning against a reindeer, watching Hans with bland curiosity. 

Hans bowed a little, despite the man obviously being a commoner. He fell easily into his role of prince.

“I was looking for help, my companions and I shipwrecked on a shoreline. But yes, I did get lost.”

“Well, I found you.” The blond said with a shrug. “We should go get your companions before they decide to follow your stupid.” Hans bristled, despite himself, but gave the man a smile. 

“It was foolhardy of me to wander off.” He agreed, swallowing his anger at the insult down. 

“What? No that part was smart. I found you.” The blond walked past him with the reindeer, leaving Hans momentarily thrown. There was no elaboration and no pause, so Hans simply followed after. 

~*~ 

“Well done my boy, finding a local-barbaric attitude notwithstanding- has surely saved us!”

The local in question, Kristoff, glanced sidelong at the little man sitting next to him on the seat of his sled. Hans was riding Saffron beside the sled, and his horse was interested in the reindeer, Sven, who was pulling the sled that had been modified to go over dry land.

“The local isn’t deaf, your dukeship.” Kristoff responded, resigned annoyance bubbling in his words. “And I found him-would have died without me.”

Hans glanced down at the man with a small feeling of amusement. 

“And how would I have met my demise?” 

Kristoff raised an eyebrow at him and snorted, a faint smile ghosting around his lips.

“Pissed off a local.” 

“But luckily I met someone so decent.” Hans commented with polite sarcasm. But the face that looked up at him was serious.

“I was raised to be decent. Not everyone was.” 

The large brown eyes and frank face suddenly made Hans uneasy. He shifted in the saddle. 

“What do you do, then, Kristoff, besides be nice to people lost in the woods.”

“In the winter I cut and harvest ice for cellars in summer. In summer I hunt and trade furs.”

“Harvest ice?”

The Duke laughed and rolled his eyes but Kristoff just snorted and nodded. 

“Arendelle has rooms that keep ice frozen even in summer. Keeps meat good longer without drying it. Pretty good business.” 

Hans settled, considering this. It was a good idea, he couldn’t deny that. 

“And that’s how you get by?” 

“I don’t know prince, is it?” 

Kristoff was teasing him now and it irked Hans. 

“Perhaps you get by by taking advantage of helpless strangers. I don’t know.” He’d meant it as a joke but Kristoff closed off immediately. 

“If I did it would have already happened.” Kristoff snapped at him. “And you and your friends would be worse off.” 

Hans filed away the reaction and inclined his head, masking his surprise.

“That was incredibly callous and rude of me,” he agreed. “Especially since you are helping us. Forgive the comment.”

Kristoff, appeased for the moment, turned his attention back to the path. 

The Duke began chattering like an inane monkey with Hans only half listening. His mind was on other things. 

~*~

“There’s a week still until the coronation, still. We’ll be there by tomorrow or the day after, weather depending.” Kristoff looked rather pleased with himself. 

Hans was also pleased. Not what he’d wanted but this was good enough. 

They set up camp, and Hans observed with interest Kristoff seemed to be prowling, watching the areas beyond their camp. 

“Guarding us?” Hans asked, curious. Kristoff glanced at him, shrugging. 

“There’s wolves around. A pack’s been getting restless.”

Somehow, Hans didn’t believe him. It was a valid reason and yet somehow it rang false. He let it slide however. Baseless allegations would do nothing. 

He came to help start the fire and prepare food-meat from a deer he’d no doubt caught and intended to sell-and then retreated back to the edge of their camp. 

Hans waited till most of the others had gone to bed before approaching Kristoff. 

“Something tells me you don’t like people.”

A soft little laugh. “Oh? Well that’s not...not exactly true.”

Hans waited and after a time Kristoff elaborated. 

“Reindeer make better company, they don’t judge you and there’s no troubles or misunderstanding that can happen with reindeer. But I don’t hate people. I just would rather not be near them too much.” 

Hans raised an eyebrow, and got up again. “Apologies, then.” 

“You’re not people. Don’t know _what_ you are. But you’re not like them.” Kristoff offered and Hans paused.

“Am I like you then?” Kristoff shrugged.

“No. There’s others like me and you haven’t got their look. I _know_ me, your highness. I don’t know you.”

They faced each other in a quiet battle of wills before Kristoff got up and offered his jacket. “Whatever you are, you’re cold.” 

Hans remained silent, simply turning away. There were many things to process from this. He stopped again when Kristoff turned back to the forested mountain, alert and tense.

“Do I hear laughter?” He asked the blond, who was practically bristling. 

“Go to your tent, prince.” 

“Are they “your kind”?” 

Kristoff grimaced, glancing between Hans and the forest, his body language edging into panic. 

“Tent. Now.”

“No.”

Kristoff slung Hans over his shoulder as though he weighed nothing and began walking towards the tent.

The laughter faded away. 

Hans was full of questions about what was going on, about what Kristoff was caught up in, among various other questions. 

He stared down at the man’s ass, and blinked. For a second he’d been sure something had flicked out from under the belt, and then back under.

Something like a tail. 

He was probably tired. Did survive a shipwreck that day and all that. 

Kristoff dumped him unceremoniously onto his bedroll, paused, and Hans had a sudden moment of fear as Kristoff looked at him. There was very little _human_ in Kristoff’s gaze, and quite a lot of arousal. 

So Hans responded by teasing.

“Am I going to have a bed mate, then?” He kept his voice light, curious, teasing. It snapped Kristoff out of whatever had come over him and he sighed angrily, reaching a hand to his forehead. 

“Oh go to sleep, prince.”

Kristoff turned and left, Hans silently glad he’d gotten at least a small reading on the blond. His hunch from the earlier conversation had been right. As had his comment on Kristoff’s character. He was decent. Hans could use that. 

Though the comment from the conversation that night kept coming back to him. 

_“There’s others like me and you haven’t got their look.”_


	2. Huldra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hunter stops by, and relates some local legends, and Hans sees the truth of the matters.

Hans woke up feeling unsettled and restless. He was used to camping and sleeping in bedrolls. This wasn’t the familiar sort of uncomfortable. He had a sneaking feeling this was to do with Kristoff. 

When he left the tent, still marveling at the fact Kristoff had three tents (“I was trading around. Had to go back to Arendelle anyway, and these will make a good sum.”) he was willing to let them borrow. Much of what they’d brought with them on the ship had been lost. Kristoff had been more than generous with the group.

Surprisingly, the Duke was awake and active. Hans silently grimaced, bracing himself for all of the inanities the man would spout. He walked towards the campfire, noting Kristoff was tuning a guitar a small distance away as some of the servants prepared food. 

Although Hans wanted to go demand the man explain last night, he refrained and instead went to the fire for breakfast. 

Among the group was a newcomer. He had a bow with him, and a quiver half full of arrows. The Duke clapped Hans on the back, startling him. “Come, my boy! This fine gentleman was telling us some of the local legends!” 

Hans looked back at the man. “What sort of local legends?” 

“The usual for any place.” The Duke said with a wave of his hand. “Nightmare creatures and beautiful music that will lead to your doom. Creatures made of stone who alter memories. It’s all quite quaint.”

“Not just that m’lord.” The stranger spoke up. “Stories of beautiful men and women who seduce lost folk are also common. Ain’t tall tales, though. Not those at the very least. The Huldre are tricky bastards.” 

“Huldre.” Kristoff called over. “Hidden Folk.  _ Huldra _ for a specific sort. The hollow backed seducers. Or were you gonna talk about the trolls?”

The man laughed. “You ever met one of the Huldra there, fella? Seems you know them.” 

Kristoff leaned back as all eyes turned to him. 

“Nope. Or maybe I do and never realized. You can only tell they’re not human by their backs if the stories are right. Hollowed like old trees. From what I’ve heard anyway. They’re just rumors though.” 

The other man laughed. “There’s another way. Huldra don’t get lost in the forests they’re born in. You could cut out their eyes and deafen them and they’d still be able to find their ways in their forests.”

“Yes it’s so terrifying that someone can find their way around their own home.” Kristoff returned dryly. “You get any ice harvester in these mountains and it’s the same thing. Bet as a hunter you’d also do well for yourself.” He smirked then. “Or are you Huldra?”

The Duke was crossing himself throughout the entire conversation while Hans watched Kristoff closely, considering this conversation and his behavior the night before.

“Huldra are parasitic magpies.” The hunter went on. “Leave their brats with humans or trolls. All grown up they spend their lives in their forests and mountains, seducing people they take an interest in. Sometimes keep the unlucky as pets or toys. Sometimes kill em. Sometimes leave em with a child they were magicked into spawning.”

“Goodness,” breathed the old man beside Hans. “Such wickedness!” Hans sighed. 

“It’s a fine story,” he told the hunter. “But why on earth would an entire group simply...do that?”

It was Kristoff who spoke then. He sounded strangely bitter. 

“Because at the beginning of the world there was a woman who had as many children as there were stars. She loved... _ most _ of her children. One day someone she respected announced they were coming over to bless her children. All of them. She did her best, I’m sure. But she washed and preened the favorites first. And then realized she was quite out of time.” He stopped, and the hunter continued.

“In a panic she hid away the dirty, less loved ones. The guest came and inspected all the children. Three times she was asked if these were all her kids, three times she lied and said they were. So the guest cursed the hidden ones to remain hidden forever as hideous monsters-”

“Until such a time as their siblings, the loved ones, the  _ humans  _ could love the ones that wanted love and respect the ones that wanted respect.” Kristoff finished. 

He walked away with a sigh and a  _ “people.” _ Muttered as a curse under his breath. 

Hans folded his hands in his lap. “Well, that certainly explains the seduction then.” Love. They remained cursed till they were loved by humans? Was that all the Hidden Folk or just these Huldra? He didn’t have a chance to ask as the conversation shifted. 

The princesses were opening the gates for the first time in over a decade. Rumors that the gates had closed over the youngest almost dying in a sledding accident were still in the air but from what people had noticed she was overly kind and her older sister was as frigid as ever. 

Now that the oldest, Elsa, was of age, she was opening Arendelle once more. 

Hans let himself be lost in this conversation, but part of him was still on the topic of the Huldra. If this sort of thing just existed, how could he use this knowledge to his advantage? Why, more importantly, were the Arendellian people just  _ sitting  _ on this knowledge?

All of these creatures they could use, and apparently everyone was fine with just.. _ letting  _ them be nuisances in the mountains.

When he was king he’d make sure all of the strange magic in this land would be properly utilized.

The hunter eventually had to pass on, but gave the party some supplies he could spare. They broke camp, and Kristoff walked back to them, looking less tense and cleaner. Saffron and Sven were behind him, also looking cleaner and happier.

Hans took the reigns of his horse from the blond. “Thank you.” He said, and was half surprised he meant it. “I would have-”

Kristoff waved him off. “I know. I can tell you care about him. This is…” he shrugged. “An apology.” 

Hans took it, filed the gesture away, and smiled. 

“Everyone had a long day yesterday. And we have been asking quite a bit of your time. It’s alright.”

Kristoff eyed him strangely. “Right...well, we need to get going. The coronation is a few days off. Bet all of you want to make nice or whatever with those others.”

Hans was left with the feeling Kristoff didn’t trust him, and there was confusion about why not. Everyone liked him. He made sure of it. 

~*~

  
“-and so you see, that’s how we routed all the evil from our country.” The Duke finished his story, self satisfied. It has been a rather in depth explanation of witch hunts in his country. In all honesty it made Hans faintly disgusted the monarchy, when faced with magic, decided killing it was a better idea than using the magic for their own ends. 

Kristoff looked like he probably agreed. They’d stopped for lunch so Sven could rest, and the blond was laying on his side, listening as he chewed on the end of a long strand of sweet grass, unimpressed.

“And you found most of the most dangerous ones.” Kristoff started, before sitting up. “Why, exactly are you here again, your dukeship?”

The Duke waved a finger at Kristoff. “There’s always been matters of Queen Idunna. She never came off as _normal_ if you understand.” Kristoff’s head dropped forward slightly, a wry half smile on his face as he flicked the grass to the other side of his mouth. 

“Wouldn’t know much about the Queen. But she seemed kind.” 

“Kindness is only a ploy dear boy.” The Duke admonished. “Why, take those Huldra you have! Seduction and trickery, marks of evil!”

Kristoff’s eyebrows show up before he laughed low and quiet. “Look. Nothing here is _evil_. Huldra are neutral, weird legends aside. Trolls are neutral. Maybe it’s different in your home, but here nothing bothers you if you don’t bother it.”

Hans shrugged as he plucked idly at the grass near him. He’d been passive about the conversation up till now. 

“There’s a lot of ways you can spin “bothering”, though, isn’t there? I could enter a bear’s territory and that is _certainly_ going to _bother it._ ”

Kristoff shrugged again as he inclined his head, conceding the point.

“However if humans really bothered any of these species, they’d be more than rumors and legends, wouldn’t they? Huldra children are rare occurrences. Obviously them and anything else that might be real are fairly content to be legends. Doubt it’d be like that if they took issue with the humans right now.”

“You like defending them.” Hans observed. Kristoff shot him a look bordering on disgust.

“I can respect people who want their privacy.” Kristoff told him, spitting the sweet grass from his mouth onto the ground. “And if nobody is hurting the other, who are we to say they deserve to be exterminated?” Kristoff’s eyes met Hans’, and once more Hans was suddenly hard pressed to find ‘human’ in that face. Instead of arousal however, he found only anger. 

“I suppose it simply depends on the situation.” He soothed. Kristoff tilted his head. 

“Does it?”

Mentally Hans reeled. He tilted his head. “Works with humans.”

“True.”

~*~

That night they camped by a river. Kristoff slipped away and although nobody else noticed, Hans had kept a passive eye on their guide since lunch. When Kristoff headed to the river, Hans waited a few minutes, brushing down Saffron and murmuring soft things about the day, before following Kristoff. 

It took Hans several minutes before he found signs of the man. His jacket, vest and shirt were folded neatly on a large rock. Shoes several feet away, placed together, the hat on top of the shoes, folded in half once. Neat and orderly.

It took a few more minutes to actually find Kristoff, mainly because Hans overlooked him the first time. Kristoff was sitting by the river, head bowed, feet in the water.

From behind Kristoff looked almost like an old hollow tree stump.

Moss and flowers grew overflowing out of the wide crevice of old wood, ferns stood proud and erect in the cradle of wood and magic of Kristoff. It was only when Hans stepped on a branch and Kristoff flinched did Hans actually take notice of the “tree stump”. Despite himself his mouth was open. 

Whatever he’d been expecting when he heard “hollow backed” wasn’t what he saw. Kristoff’s back was full, and alive. Yes it was a tree stump but it wasn’t empty. 

“I thought so.” He managed, his voice incredibly steady. Satisfied, even. Kristoff jumped up and around like he’d been bit, horrified and wary. 

“Don’t say anything to anyone.” Kristoff said, wide eyed. Hans raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“Right now, that doesn’t benefit me. They’d hurt you.”

He may as well drop a little of his mask, it was only fair. Besides Kristoff seemed to have an idea anyway.

“You know what? I’ll tell them myself.” 

Hans felt momentary panic, but when Kristoff didn’t move he folded his arms and decided to try a different tactic.

“I don’t want to blackmail you and currently am not interested in the myths surrounding you or anything else in the mountain.” Half a lie. He wasn’t _currently._ It didn’t mean he didn’t want to learn and utilize later. But playing it off like a misunderstanding was in his best interest. 

Kristoff didn’t relax but he did walk a little closer to Hans, curious despite himself. “If you’re not interested in that, and not interested in blackmail, what are you interested in?”

“Thought I saw a tail last night.” Hans admitted, doing a good job at sounding sheepish. Kristoff rolled his eyes and a moment later a tail unwound itself from under the belt. It was short, thick, and not unlike a cow tail, but even where he was he could see the fur matched Kristoff’s hair color and wasn’t as wiry as a cow’s tail.

“You do have a tail.” He breathed, surprised.

“You got a problem with tails?”

“...Well. Animals are one thing. I’ve never seen them on a person.” 

“Uh huh.”

“Look I’m not even sure I’m not hallucinating all of this!”

“Oh go jump in a river.” 

Hans grinned slowly, an idea forming. Always be adaptable, his brothers taught him that with all their actions. 

“Fine.”

He didn’t have any doubts Kristoff would keep him from dying and it was half to curb the actual growing concern he was talking to a man with a rotting hole in his back and flowers growing from it who was alive and healthy and _fine_. If he was fighting to stay alive he wasn’t contemplating how Kristoff was alive. 

Wondering if Huldra were real and wondering what Kristoff was was fine _in theory,_ but this was something he needed a moment to process. And forcing Kristoff to save him seemed like it would help him in several goals at once. 

Yes he’d just survived a ship wreck. It frankly would make this more believable. For now he just had to last long enough for the man to save him. 

The river was swollen with melted snow, going down a mountainside and was wild and fast. And bitterly, bitterly cold. Hans was half unconscious when he was pulled out of the water. Mostly unconscious as Kristoff pushed the water from his lungs and probably fully unconscious for some time because when he woke up he was dry, under Kristoff’s jacket, and there was a fire.

“Nnnmm…” he moaned, beginning to sit up. He was sore and his head hurt. A hand pushed him back down.

“Rest.” Kristoff’s voice was gruff and tight with worry.

“Didn’t know you cared so much.” He managed weakly, smiling. He’d suspected though. 

He dimly processed knees thumping beside him and hands cradled his face. “You threw yourself in a _river.”_

And with the broken, concerned voice from Kristoff Hans claimed victory. 

“Thought I’d swallowed too much seawater. But this...isn’t that. You’re real.” His head was swimming. Kristoff brushed hair from his face, sighing softly. 

“Well...People say Huldra are tangible sexual fantasies.” He murmured, stroking Hans’ face with his thumbs. “So maybe I’m nothing whatever at all. But just real enough to keep you alive.” 

Hans reached up to brush fingers through the blond hair. “Real enough to me.” He said, before losing consciousness. 


	3. Hans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps Kristoff is too honest, perhaps Hans is too twisted.

Maybe he should jump in rivers more often, honestly. 

He could have done without the dozens of lectures from everyone else but he liked the attentiveness of Kristoff. He liked being carefully cradled in the man’s arms, he liked being wrapped in blankets and he liked Kristoff’s full attention. 

They were headed to Arendelle, and by Kristoff’s estimates would arrive by noon. Of course, if all of the stories were true, then Kristoff would know best.

While Hans would rather have been with Saffron, Saffron being really his grounding point in any situation, Kristoff had insisted Hans being bundled onto the seat of the sleigh and himself walking beside the sleigh and leading from the side, holding Saffron’s reins and staying near Hans. Hans found the compromise suitable and let himself relax on the ride. 

The Duke was, of course, still beside himself, and kept trying to rework Hans’ story (“it was dark and I slipped on moss and fell into the river”) into trickery by the “Arendelle witches” though thankfully everyone in the group ignored him. 

Eventually though it seemed Kristoff got tired of the comments. “And why do you think it’s witches or Huldra or trolls?” He finally asked, his tone a mix of bored and irate. 

“Witches always do sneaky, terrible things. It’s when you assume there’s kindness in their hearts is when they strike.”

“I’ve met half a dozen people who do that and they were all very much human.” Hans drawled tiredly. The fact those half dozen were all family members was neither here nor there. 

Kristoff raised an eyebrow at him before nodding, perhaps in thanks for his point being defended. 

“But you can always  _ tell _ with the supernatural.” Said the Duke stiffly. Hans had to bite his tongue, the temptation to tell him he’d been in the company of someone not human for nearly three days was strong but his desire to keep Kristoff as a usable pawn was stronger. He simply smiled faintly and settled as though to rest more. 

“How can you tell?” Kristoff asked, a laugh in his words. 

“Why by the smell of them! You can always find one among your group by the smell!”

Kristoff snorted some laughter. “But what if Arendelle magic creatures smell different than Westergaard magic?”

The rest of the trip was blessedly silent till they got to the city. 

Kristoff helped them get to the castle and explain the matter. 

One of the servants gripped Kristoff’s hands, thanking him profusely. Kristoff tried to get away, loudly explaining it wasn’t a big deal, most people would have helped. It was obvious he was uncomfortable. Hans watched for a few moments before coming to his aid.

“Kristoff, you saved my life, and my companions. We are very grateful.” He gently placed himself between the servant and Kristoff. “Perhaps, stay a few days? I believe-Kai, right?” At the confirmation he nodded graciously- “was only meaning you deserved a reward. Why not stay till the coronation while we figure out a suitable reward.”

Kristoff held Hans’ gaze before sighing and giving him a knowing little smile. “Sure. I have a place I stay at whenever I come to the capitol city. I’ll give you the name. Wasn’t planning on leaving for a bit in any case. There are things to trade, supplies to buy.” 

Perhaps anyone else would have been sad for Kristoff that sex was his first (and correct) assumption, but for Hans he simply processed it and decided to knock Kristoff’s equilibrium a bit. 

~*~

Hans wandered a day later, wearing clothes borrowed from some of the townsfolk, the son of the woman whose inn they were staying at, to be specific. He wasn’t sure he liked the clothes. They were quite different to put on. Warm though. Even in summer there seemed to be a faint bite in the air. Making it cooler, still, than he was entirely used to. All of the dignitaries weren’t used to the chill, and so while many of the natives and dignitaries from colder countries were commenting on how warm it was this year, Hans and the others kept the long sleeves.

He had to ask directions a few times, and while most people knew the trade language, he could barely make out the directions through the thick accents of some of the people. He’d have to get used to this when he was king, he supposed. Or learn the native language better than the basic conversation level he had. 

Eventually, he was able to find his way to where Kristoff was staying. There was a stable next to the building, of course. And of course, Kristoff was there. Hans noted with interest he wore as many layers as Hans himself. Perhaps it was to hide the hollow. Heaven only knew Kristoff would need more padding along his back to maintain the illusion he  _ had  _ a back. 

“But Kristoff,” said Kristoff in a funny voice as he brushed Sven, evidentially speaking for the reindeer, “don’t you always say other people aren’t worth it?”

“You’re right good buddy I do. And the fullstendig tull  _ did  _ toss himself into a river…” 

“Are you debating continuing to talk with me or are you debating if I’m crazy?” Hans asked, feigning hurt curiosity as he watched Kristoff from the door of the stall. He was half surprised when Kristoff jumped, though he had seemed lost in thought. Like before. 

Kristoff turned, giving Hans a small, stiff bow. 

“Neither, your highness.” Kristoff smiled then, though wryly. “Sven was pointing out I don’t like people on the best of days, and I was in the process of reminding him you’re stubborn and unpredictable.” Sven huffed and gently butted Kristoff’s shoulder, Kristoff playfully swatting at his head.

“Am I an exception then?”

Kristoff shrugged, offering nothing else. Hans turned to Sven. “What do you think? Does Kristoff consider me an exception?” Sven’s answer was butting Kristoff, more forcefully, towards Hans. Kristoff shot the reindeer a scathing look before turning back to Hans, who smiled calmly at Kristoff’s unasked question.

“I got lost five times trying to find this establishment.” He started. 

“Oh-okay sor-”

“I need a guide for the city.” Hans interrupted, and as predicted Kristoff was knocked off kilter. The blond leaned back, folding his arms, eyes flicking to the side and down as he processed this. Hans touched one of his bared forearms. The only skin Kristoff was actually showing. “And I trust you.”

Kristoff’s mouth fell open as his eyes snapped back to Hans’. He quickly recovered, and brushed Hans’ hand off his arm, though there was a faint pink on his cheeks. 

“That’s...a terrible thing to tell me.” He stated. It was a soft growl and Hans’ mouth was suddenly dry. Fear or lust, he wasn’t altogether sure. “I can use that.”

“I  _ hope _ you use that.” Hans said, boldly but watching, calculating. “Because I’m hoping I’m not the only one who feels-”

“You came here for a princess, though.” Kristoff pointed out, calmly. “And I doubt I derailed that at all.” Hans remained quiet, and let Kristoff continue. “Because yes, I don’t mind a few nights and then we part ways. That’s normal for me.” 

“What are you asking?” Hans asked, equally calmly. He wasn’t going to deny it; his age, status and mere being in this country cemented Kristoff’s claim. He wondered if Kristoff had guessed the full thing; becoming king and cementing his throne. Elsa’s death. 

Kristoff sighed and shook his head, dropping his stance. “Nothing. Forget it.” He hesitated. “...A guide?” Hans smiled. 

~*~

“Why are we in a Seamstress’ shop, again?” Kristoff asked, big and bulky and quite obviously out of his realm here. 

“What, don’t you get your clothes fitted to you?” Hans asked. Kristoff gave him an unamused look as Hans had fabric pressed to a bare torso. He wanted something that looked like a sophisticated mix of Auradon high fashion and Westergaard high fashion. Something to walk around in, something to wear for the coronation and ball, and maybe a small set of warm clothes, as the fabric was high quality here. 

“I trade for clothes from the passing Northuldren peoples, and make my own alterations.” Kristoff stated. 

“Northuldra?”

“A nomadic people. Their cultures can vary widely from region to region and tribe to tribe. Reindeer herders, mainly.” Interesting.

“A tribe went missing oh, some near thirty years ago, now” The woman fitting the clothes supplied helpfully. “They lived in the forests and would come to the grasslands in summer. But well, after king Runeard died and his son was crowned...they haven’t been seen. Not that particular tribe, in any case. The ones from farther over do, though.”

Hans inclined his head in a silent question to Kristoff, who nodded with a shrug. That explained it then. Human parent, non human parent. Though abandonment because of Kristoff’s nature or accidental misplacement as the tribe was nomadic was a question for later. 

The fitting was wrapped up fairly quickly, and Hans put the borrowed shirt back on, clumsily and hating himself for it. The way the shirt and vest were designed wasn’t familiar to him. 

“Do you need help?” Kristoff asked, and Hans grit his teeth for a moment before walking to Kristoff. 

“It appears I do.” He admitted. He glanced up at Kristoff as the other man helped. “What happened, if it’s alright to ask?”

“I was lost in the mountains when I was small, by the time I went home maybe a year later, my father had died in an accident. Happens. I went back up the mountains.”

Interesting.

“Can I ask you something?” Kristoff asked as he finished helping sort out the shirt. Hans paused, then nodded. 

“Seems fair.”

Kristoff pressed two fingers into Hans’ chest, and Hans suppressed a wince.

“Exactly how are you walking? I’ve seen all of your bruises. That’s a lot of damage for someone to be fine after. And it’s been only two days.”

Hans batted Kristoff’s hand away. “I’ve had worse damage. Used to be in the navy, plus I had twelve older brothers.”

Kristoff’s face was a mix of anger and grief, despite Hans’ light tone. 

_ “That’s not how it should be.” _ Kristoff hissed. “What gave them the right?”

“That’s how it was and what gives  _ you  _ the right to make that judgment?” Hans shot back, internally amused but deciding to see what this would yield, the apparent anger. He pushed away from Kristoff and out of the shop. His clothes would be done by the time the coronation happened and the castle gates fully opened. He’d paid, sewing money into his clothes had been the best (and only good) advice his fourth oldest brother had ever given him.

A few moments later, as expected, Kristoff caught up to him. 

“I’m not sorry.” 

That  _ wasn’t _ expected. 

“You were out of line.” Hans snapped at him. “You don’t need to offer input on things you don’t understand!”

“Why not?” Hans stopped and looked at him. Kristoff continued. “I don’t  _ pity _ you. But isn’t it. I don’t know.  _ Weird  _ to you that the-“ he dropped his voice, aware of the passerby, “ _ literal monster _ was treated better than the human as a child?”

“Different culture and circumstance.” 

“Humans are humans, prince. Anywhere in the world. If your family couldn’t give you the care you needed, that’s not a family. If they made you hide pieces of yourself away, that’s definitely not a family.”

Hans narrowed his eyes, though he was unsettled. 

“You’re not a monster, Kristoff. You’re the best man I know.”

Kristoff gave him a tight half smile. “Says something, then, doesn’t it?” 

“....good night, Kristoff.” 

“Do you know your way-”

“If I managed finding you I can manage finding my way to the inn!” 

It took a little while but he managed. Honestly the most unsettling thing about the exchange was that he hadn’t felt in any way that Kristoff was lying to him about any of it. 

He almost would have preferred pity to the misguided grief and Kristoff’s attempts at care and advice. 


	4. Anna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hans begins rethinking the bones of his plan. How to get Kristoff as an acceptable part of the deal. 
> 
> He finally has Kristoff intimately, and then later, meets Anna. She's pretty, she's funny, but....
> 
> well. 
> 
> Hans wants both.

“You’re just constantly full of surprises, aren’t you?” Hans asked the next morning, bemused, to Kristoff, who was standing on the doorstep of the inn, having called for him specifically. Kristoff gave him a wide half-smile, cheek dimpling. It was despicably adorable, but then again, wasn’t that the  _ point _ with Kristoff? He was quite literally designed to make people swoon. That was, apparently, the entire aim of his species.

“You never actually said you didn’t want to see me again, you just walked away in a huff.” Kristoff inclined his head slightly, eyebrows up, eyes wide and earnest under the fringe under his hat. “So I’m here with a picnic and more ideas where I can show you around Arendelle.”

Hans considered for a moment and tilted his head, smirking a little. “And exactly what sort of places would you show me?”

“..You really want me to-there’s this place. Nobody goes there. It’s a picnic. Some shops and things you might like as well. I don’t know! I don’t take people... _ out.” _

Hans blushed at the implication, it took him off guard. Was that what Kristoff thought? Was...was that what this was? A mutual outing of..what, lovers? “Don’t overthink it. We just have...mmm...mutual needs of each other.”

Kristoff raised an eyebrow at him. “Riiight. Look. Do you want to come or…?” He held out a hand, questioning, and Kristoff hesitated. He was half dressed, the landlady had sort of rushed him. His shoes, socks, vest, ascot, and gloves weren’t with him. 

“...Let me finish getting ready. Then yes.” 

Kristoff nodded. “I’ll wait, then.” 

Hans smiled, nodded to him once, and went back inside, maybe a tad quickly if they were being honest. The landlady, a very nice woman who insisted he call her Nora, was waiting with a slightly concerned look. 

“Was he rude, sir?”

“What-oh, no, he...well...I need to get finished getting dressed. I’ve been paying him to be my guide.” Hans soothed calmly, charmingly. The woman smiled knowingly all the same, a hand pressed to the side of her cheek. 

“You’re not the first nor the last who indulges in this sort of ‘outing’ on a diplomacy trip, young man. Though I must say, you are the first one quite this young and with someone so excited to have a moment with you.” 

“I think you misunderstand, ma’am, there is nothing between us. I simply hired him to help me find my way around the city.”

She watched him for a moment before sighing, not the least convinced but, for some reason, looking sad. 

“Don’t break his heart, then, sir. He seemed a very nice young man.”

He was suddenly curious to know if she’d say the same if she knew Kristoff was one of the huldre, or if she even cared. 

She left before he could ask and he moved to his room, finishing getting his clothes on, combing his hair and looking otherwise as presentable as a man of royal standing aught to. 

  
  


Kristoff was still waiting, simply leaning against the railing. He smiled and stood when Hans came out. To say the man lit up was an understatement. His entire being was filled with joy-joy for Hans. it was...disconcerting. “You’re really happy to see me? After yesterday.”

_ “Because  _ of yesterday.” but there was no other elaboration. Kristoff again offered a hand. “Do you want to come, then?” Hans waved the hand away. 

“Lead on then.”

Kristoff closed the offered hand, keeping eye contact, and then broke it, hand dropping to his side, sighing. “Yea, sure.”

Hans wasn’t sure what he did, but perhaps he could rectify it later. However, there would most likely be rumors about this, if the landlady was anything to go by, and he didn’t want to ruin his chance of becoming king. Best to minimize the amount of rumors. 

He followed Kristoff readily, however, and tried not to think about the rumors, or the princesses. It was rather odd to follow someone like a small duckling around, trusting them. There was a small part of him that didn’t like this. It was...unsettling. To follow people again. He knew, logically, as Kristoff was the guide, he needed to but... somehow it was different when it wasn’t the forest. 

~*~

“Where exactly are we going?” he asked a bit later, as they wandered along the docks, after having just come from some courtyards and a side street of shops. Kristoff swung around on a heel with a faint laugh to shrug at Hans.

“You wanted to see more sights, so I’m showing you stuff before tomorrow. Because tomorrow is when all the stalls and festival stuff gets set up. Wouldn’t you rather catch a glimpse of the city before that?”

This was a good point. He waved regally for Kristoff to carry on, who simply raised an eyebrow, turned around, and continued walking.

Eventually they came to a rather large lake. They were midway between the castle and the mountains. Kristoff sat down, and after a hesitation, so did Hans. “Really? Here?”

Kristoff just snorted. “Well,  _ you’re _ eager for something. And yes. Here. Nobody comes down this way. It’s too far from the forest or the castle for anyone to recognize us. It’s a good spot without getting too far from the city.” 

Hans considered before nodding. He was irked by the first comment but. He supposed it was true. 

“Hans.” Hans’ eyes flicked to Kristoff’s. The look from the tent was back. “What first?”

Hans leaned over, meeting Kristoff’s lips hungrily. Kristoff met his hunger with enthusiasm, and began pushing him into the grass and heather. “Hard already prince?” Though the teasing gentleness of Kristoff’s tone startled Hans, he responded to it as though it were a taunt, and sought to knock Kristoff off his equilibrium. 

“Mm, well, impossible not to be. Sex on a lake shore? Peak romance.” he said, loading as much dry amusement as he could into his tone. A small silence and Kristoff rolled onto his side and away from Hans, laughing hysterically. His tail was out, thumping the ground lightly as he smacked the ground with one hand, the other over his face. 

“Nooo, stop. Oh  _ fuck. _ Nooo…”

Hans sat up, aware of the strain in his pants a bit more than he had been. Hans took Kristoff’s hands and pulled the fairly compliant man up and into his lap. Kristoff smiled down at him, a bit wistful. Hans watched as he began somewhat undressing, taking off the vest but leaving his shirt, though he was quite happy to unbutton it for Hans’ viewing pleasure, undoing the buttons slowly and carefully, and Hans closed his eyes, the scent of flowers heady. Dark, somehow, heavy too. 

He wanted a lot of things, but right now he wanted to feel Kristoff, explore as much as he’d be allowed (he had no idea if the back was off limits, and really, that was Kristoff’s right for now) within this current encounter. Plus, he didn’t really want to lay on his back in grass with his bruises. Didn’t want that amount of touch right now. 

  
  


“Hey, are you alright?” there was a hand on his cheek, a thumb rubbing his cheekbone. He opened his eyes and smiled, though had to take a moment. Was that concern?

  
  


“You’re far too good, do you know that?” Kristoff snorted, rolling his eyes at the comment. 

  
  


“Help me get my pants down prince, and then just fuck me.”

  
  


Hans narrowed his eyes at him, though his hands worked on the belt. “Are you always this forward?”

“If I know it works.” 

Hans rolled his eyes this time, deciding to shut Kristoff up. He grabbed the base of Kristoff’s tail, and Kristoff’s breath hitched, head and back snapping back. Hans watched as he pulled the tail free from a small hole in the pants, and began working the clothing down Kristoff’s hips while Kristoff slowly recovered.

“I’m going to amend my statement from a few nights ago. I very much like tails.” Hans said lightly, feeling a bit maniacal. “Especially if it’s yours and you’re on my lap.” He watched as Kristoff gulped down air, his skin a dusky pink from forehead to his collarbone. “And you know what, I’d like to play with it again.”

“ _ Don’t  _ grab my tail again you fucking ass.” Came the rebuttal that would have held more weight if it wasn’t so breathless and dazed. Hans only smiled at Kristoff innocently as his hands slid up the small expanse of bare skin of thigh to his hips. He eyed Kristoff’s hard cock with interest, though kept his hands studiously off. 

“You like it.”

Kristoff leaned down to kiss his mouth, palms cupping his jaw gently, gently. 

“Yes. Fuck it.  _ Yes. _ But stop being so smug about this.”

Soon enough Kristoff was drawing Hans out of his own pants, though the kiss was kept intact.

Hans hissed. “Fuck _ -FUCK- _ gentle!” Kristoff had leaned on a particularly bad scratch, and the pain pushed away any enjoyment of the hand on his dick. Kristoff leaned back immediately, letting Hans shift him to somewhere less painful. 

  
  


“Hans are you actually alright.”

  
  


“If we’re careful, yes. Trust me.”

  
  


“I do! I do.” a small kiss on his jaw, and more butterfly kisses down his neck, Hans canting his neck to give the man more access. “I trust you right now. But trust me to take care of you, too. Because there’s more than one way you can have this, and we can find a way that works.”

“People don’t take care of me.”

“Let me start. Even if it’s just till the coronation.”

“...later. Start later. After this. That picnic. Start then.”

Full sentences were just myths with the small pops of feeling every time Kristoff’s lips connected to his skin on his neck and collarbone interrupting his thought processes. 

He pushed Kristoff back a little by his shoulder and offered him two fingers with a small half smile. “Well?” Kristoff simply took the fingers into his mouth, no comment, like his greatest wish was something in his mouth. Hans pressed his free hand into the soft hair at the base of Kristoff’s head, gently keeping his head still as he sucked. 

When he felt his fingers were slicked enough, he pulled them away from Kristoff, who used his knees to raise himself a little, and allowed Hans to reach between his legs, wrist brushing his balls. Kristoff bit his lip for a moment before breathing out, mostly steady, as a finger slipped in. 

“Did you..prepare yourself before this?” Felt like it. 

There was a soft roll of shoulder, Hans’ eyes drawn to Kristoff’s pecs, the shoulder muscles flexing under his skin and moving his chest in rather interesting ways under his shirt. 

“Figured I’d consider any way this could have gone. Probably a good idea, all things- _ yes _ .” 

Kristoff’s head fell forward a little, his eyelids fluttering shut, his hands gripping Hans’ shirt. So that was his sweet spot, then.

“I’m sure you’re quite aware,” Hans began conversationally, “But much as I enjoy taking you apart slowly and watching the show, I, also, would like some pleasure.” He was aching and a little friction would be nice. 

  
  
  


“I was getting to it.” Kristoff muttered, teeth clenched. “Keep hitting that spot. I’ll take care of you.” He took a deep, shuddering breath. “I’m sorry,” he exhaled, and Hans’ eyes widened a little. People weren’t  _ sorry _ about this sort of thing. He’d only wanted to remind Kristoff he was here, not...not…

His thought trailed off as a practiced hand circled him, and his head thudded against Kristoff's arm. He moaned out softly, managing to keep his fingers going. The moment Kristoff paused he carefully slid his fingers out, and looked up at him. “We need to get your pants all the way off if you’re going to keep this position.” Kristoff whined, low and unhappy. 

“Wish we’d thought of that.”

“Were we thinking, really?” Hans responded, also regretting it. “Shoes, come on.” Hans wiped his fingers on the grass and began tugging at the cloth still encasing most of Kristoff’s legs. “By the way, where should I put my hands?”

“Hips.” Kristoff responded shortly as he began pulling his shoes off and working his pants off with Hans’ help, Kristoff’s tail curled onto his upper thigh and thumping in agitation. “I’m serious, don’t touch my tail, and the last thing either of us would want is you putting your hand in my hollow.”   
  
“Is it sensitive?”

“It’s the most private part of me. I don’t want you breaking any flowers or freaking out about the space where you think there shouldn’t be one. Plus, it doesn’t feel right if things not me are in there, alright?”

“Fair enough.” He was going to convince Kristoff to let him at least look in it. The little he’d seen before was enchanting, to say the least. Calming. 

Shoes off and pants shucked and the mostly bared body brought Hans to full attention. He rose to his knees, hands running from Kristoff’s ankles to his upper inner thigh, his mouth trailing after in small kisses mimicking the butterfly ones Kristoff had done. The standing blond shifted, his tail waving. “...Hans.”

Hans sat back, looked up at him, eyebrows up. “Well, alright then.” it was all the invitation Kristoff needed , who sat back down in his lap, taking Hans in hand again. Their eyes met. “I’m ready if you are, Kristoff.” he murmured. Carefully Kristoff moved to seat himself on Hans, lip bit gently and Hans holding him steady. When he was fully seated they both needed a moment, leaning against each other and trying to catch their breaths. 

“You-feel good.” Hans groaned raggedly. Kristoff raised his head from the curve of Hans’ neck, and began kissing him, his fingers digging into the shirt again as desperation began tinging Kristoff’s actions in a noticeable way. Hans took his chin as he broke the kiss and leaned back on one hand. “You know what to do to get what you want, then, I would assume?” Much as he enjoyed simply being in Kristoff, it was time to actually do what they wanted. The tail snapped through the air so fast and viciously the air snapped around it. Kristoff snarled at him, blushing and hair falling into his eyes. This was a sight Hans decided he wanted for the rest of his life. 

_ “Touch me.” _

Hans swallowed down any intimidation and urge to do as asked. He leaned in close. “Start fucking yourself on my cock, then. I want it, you want it.” 

Kristoff gave him the most witheringly angry look before raising himself and bringing himself down. And again. Hans waited only long enough for Kristoff to settle into a rhythm before wrapping his hand around Kristoff’s length, Kristoff’s rhythm thrown for a moment as Hans began sliding his hand up and down, sometimes fingers reaching out and running tips along his balls as well. Kristoff was shaking, and began matching Hans’ cadence and speed. 

Hans decided to be cruel and grabbed Kristoff’s tail again, stroking it. It was a little tricky, focusing on Kristoff’s cock and his tail at the same time, but the low desperate and pleading whine was worth it. He tilted his hips unexpectedly and Kristoff choked. “Hans-” He grabbed Hans’ shoulders tighter and began impaling himself, whining and gasping all the while.

“This spot, just don’t move.” Kristoff grunted, sweat having long straightened the slightly wavy hair and darkening it from corn colored to a deep gold. “I just _ \- Hans!”  _ The affronted wail as Hans let go of both the tail and the dick were wonderful. He leaned back as his hands caught the other’s hips and forced him to still, and watched the man sway almost drunkenly, and look about ready to cry from frustration. 

Hans watched him, interested, considering the dangerous idea of dragging Kristoff into his royal plot. Would Anna be interested in Kristoff? Did he want to share? He’d probably have to. Still. He released his hips. “Needed a moment” he lied, equally breathless. “You’re-so much. So much.” Really this had been a small test, to see how much control he had. Evidently a lot. Or lust did. But really, it amounted to the same thing in the end. 

A slack jawed Kristoff nodded, contrite. “Should I stop?” Hans shook his head.

“I’m okay now.”

Kristoff nodded, and with a little prompting continued, probably still afraid if he was going too far. When he wasn’t stopped again he brought himself to the edge, taking his pleasure fairly quietly and efficiently. When his hips began stuttering, Hans groaned at Kristoff’s warmth clenching around him. Kristoff came, head thrown to the sky and arms wrapped tightly around Hans’ neck, Kristoff’s mouth open in a silent cry, ribbons of semen arcing onto his stomach and legs. Hans gently maneuvered the boneless blond to the grass before finishing himself off beside him, eyes intently on the blissed out man. 

Kristoff made him want to be foolish. Want to be less careful and more trusting. The strange danger of wanting to be safe in the arms of an unknown, something other, something that could hurt him-

On that thought the tension in him broke, and he came in his hand with a sharp gasp. 

When he was fully aware of everything, Hans found himself curled against Kristoff, the man gently keeping him to his chest and stroking his hair, still a bit blissed really, if the soft affection was anything to go by. Hans let himself soak it in for a long moment, before gently pushing at Kristoff’s chest. 

“Off. I’m sweaty and gross.”

Kristoff grinned at him, sharp and sated and content. “I happen to like you like this. Messy and sleepy.” 

Hans pushed at him again, warningly, “Am I in danger then?”

“For now? No.” Kristoff let him go then, and sat up himself. “And maybe not ever. If you manage to get to the younger princess, well, I’m not going to be a homewrecker.” Hans bit his tongue about what he wanted. He’d have to prod Kristoff into the idea of being a side, if this was anything to go by. Hans looked out towards the castle. 

“Do you know what they’re like?”

Kristoff hesitated as he opened his hamper. 

“...No. Well-I had a...thing with a stable hand when the parents were alive. All servants who weren’t necessary let go. Apparently it all had to do with something with the elder being dangerous? Or unstable. Anyway. The accident of the younger was something to do with the elder sister.” He pulled a canteen out, bowls, plates, and more covered dishes. It smelled like dried meat, and fish, among other things. Hans’ stomach growled. 

“What do you have?”

Kristoff hesitated. “...well...local food.” He blushed and looked away.  _ “Commoner _ food. Some of it I traded for some of it I preserved myself. Dried fish things, fish ball soup-which is actually fish paste and barley flour dough balls in broth-Fårikål, which happens to be our national dish and is cabbage and mutton and other things in a stew, brunost, which is cheese….”

Some of it sounded disgusting, some of it sounded half decent. He knelt beside Kristoff. “Let me try all of it.” He was aware, of course, Kristoff was probably lower class. Well, not probably. He was. Just how poor though, was the question. This amount was extravagant for a single person. Wasteful, even. “How much did you spend.”

Kristoff bristled. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll leave the basket in a clearing tonight. The others will distribute it among themselves. Nothing will go to waste.” He glared at Hans, quietly daring him to challenge this. Hans just found a knife to slice the cheese with.

“How close are you to the other huldra.”

“Not..not close. They aren’t my biggest fans. Trolls though.” Hans paused and glanced at him as he trailed off, but Kristoff’s eyes were focused on the forest, and Hans got no elaboration or explanation. “What about you, then. What made you decide my company and the company of your horse is preferable to other humans?”

Hans swallowed a bite of black bread and brunost. He wasn’t sure if he liked it but… there was also the question. “...My mother had two pairs of triplets, two pairs of twins, my oldest brother, and me. It’s too crowded. We’re all expected to do well for ourselves but…” He sighed. “There’s so many. And, of course, if the set is already there for friendships, none of my brothers need a...spare.” 

“You’re not a spare.” 

Hans smiled at him. “No. I’m here. I’m important. We need an alliance for trade, I’m available.” 

Kristoff regarded him sadly. “Whatever they did, I wish I had time to undo.”

Hans, incredibly, felt a sharp prick of hurt. “Why can’t this be enough?”

“It is.” Kristoff assured him quickly. “I-I just know healing takes time, and if you’re here you can. But I won’t be there to get to see it.” 

Except maybe he would. Hans wanted him to.

~*~

They’d eaten well and Kristoff had returned Hans in better spirits to the inn, with the landlady watching him knowingly. He’d brushed off the Duke’s frantic comments with a gentle and disarming comment, about learning about Elsa and Anna and being in the shops. 

He received word his clothes were ready, and wondered just how much they’d had to burn the midnight oil to get the clothes he needed done. When he went out to retrieve them, Hans was waiting for him with Saffron and Sven both. 

Despite himself, Hans grinned at Kristoff on the porch. 

“What are you doing?”

Kristoff looked between Saffron and Sven and then at Hans. “Do you want to take a ride?” 

“I-yes but-”

“I was going to take them to a field to run. Well, Sven. Then I was walking past and pressed into helping take all the horses. Figured you’d want to take care of Saffron?”

Hans considered, and shook his head. “I’ll take Saffron around the city, I need to pick up the outfits I ordered, in any case. Thank you, though, for the offer.” He felt a slight twinge of disappointment, but…

“Will you be at the coronation?”

Kristoff shrugged. “Might as well see if I can catch a glimpse of the new queen. I’ll see you later, then, your highness.”

Somehow, it came across as an insult. Hans smiled at him though. “Hopefully.”

Kristoff huffed a soft laugh. “Hopefully. Okay. Have fun, prince.”

  
  


~*~

When he bumped into Anna after getting his new clothes (or more accurately she bumped into Saffron and almost set herself out to see in a canoe), she was everything he was hoping for. Kind, amicable, gentle, eager and sweet. Gullible. But, someone he could grow to care for, if things went well.

“If it was my sister...well...but it’s just me.”

“ _ Just _ you?”

Her sad little smile. Not because she was herself, but because she  _ wasn’t _ Elsa. A spare. She didn’t have to say it. He knew. 

  
  


And then he fell in the harbor when she walked away. But.

He liked Anna. They could be friends, perhaps. He’d seen that smile before though. Not on himself.

He’d seen it on Kristoff, ironically during mentions of marrying Anna. 

And now, he didn’t want either of them to feel like an extra. 

Unfortunately it wasn’t his nature to let anything go.


	5. Grand Pabbie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kristoff speaks with other Huldra and Pabbie. He meets Anna. He talks to The Duke.

Hans, Kristoff had realized with a sort of soft resignment, was becoming someone he happened to enjoy being with. Even if he  _ did _ have aspirations of murdering, hurting or incapacitating the soon to be queen Elsa. Kristoff’s goal to gently steer him away from it (as well as indicate he was at least currently aware) had been by letting him know as much as Kristoff did about Elsa possibly being dangerous. Scare him. It didn’t seem to have worked, though. 

Kristoff wasn’t sure if this was delving into love, or if it was still lust and concern. In any case, the end result would have been the same plan. 

Hans’ refusal to go to the fields with him had probably been Hans’ salvation. Kristoff, as he sat in the field and watched the horses and Sven, realized he’d been one step from actually kidnapping the man. 

“So, how bad is it. Would you die for him?”

Kristoff started and looked over at the girl slipping out from the trees. Her tail was flicking, and her eyes bright. He made a face. Claire. Close behind her Bastion, another of their kind and his self appointed baby sitters. He’d known they’d been following and watching. Observing and alerting him with sounds like birdcalls or falling leaves. That they’d only left Hans alone the first night because he’d been there, and promised a banquet when he got to the city. He knew that. Hidden Folk knew Hidden Folk. It’d been a task and a half keeping Hans from figuring, and from getting snagged by any of them.

“No I wouldn’t  _ die  _ for him.” He said hotly, standing up, “I just met him! Don’t even think it’s past lust.”

Bastion, tall, bear-like, darker blond hair and light blue green eyes and the kinder of the pair looked at him. “Kristoff he saw your back. Your tail.  _ You showed him  _ your tail.”

Kristoff blushed, remembering the fingers on it. How it felt weird and good, shocking but not bad. “The back was an accident, believe me. He followed me to the river. The tail was because the damage was done.”

Claire threw her hands up. “You aren’t being careful! It’s like you want him to hurt you!” Kristoff tried to avoid looking at the jagged cut of her short hair, her eternally wounded distrustful face, but he couldn’t. Part of her tail had been cut off, and the mutilated fox tail was as jarring as the rest of her. “Kristoff. Can you stand being hurt again?”

Of the human parent huldra, Kristoff and Claire had been the ones worst affected by humans and their false promises. Kristoff had just never gotten physically hurt. 

“He wants to marry a princess. I’m just-” He waved a hand as he walked around them. “A distraction. I’m nothing.” 

“But he has your life in his hands. He could get you hurt with just a word to the right person.” Bastion said gently, and Kristoff stilled, bowing his head. They were right. The worst part was Hans knew there were others. They were all in danger. But…

“He’s a liar, sure. I can just tell. But you gotta admit my instincts have never been off about natures, and I’m gonna say this and it’s going to sound fucking weird but. Think he’s also hiding. I’m going to say he wouldn’t tell my secret. It’d reveal his own.”

“If the time came, could you use that against him?” It was Pabi from the trees. Kristoff whirled around to Bastion and Claire, incredulous. 

“You seriously  _ told _ on me?! Really?!”

Clair didn’t look at all abashed or ashamed. 

“You’re the one who has the least amount of ties to the humans, and yet here you are, playing guide to that prince. Protecting him.” She said quietly, and Kristoff felt himself flush, from his hair to his collar bone. 

“Pabi” was all he said instead, looking to the old troll. “Yes. If the time came, I can use his secrets against him.” Kristoff was fairly sure he had just enough understanding of Hans to completely undo him if he needed. 

“But would you?”

Kristoff rubbed the back of his neck at the gentle call-out. He didn’t know but… 

“No matter what happens, he’s mine. I’m claiming him now. And if he tried anything, I’d take him away. I almost did today, I almost…” he closed his eyes, took a breath. “Hans is mine. And if he does something, he’ll just be another missing person in the woods.”

Claire snorted approvingly, and Pabi nodded gravely. 

“Be careful, Kristoff.”

~*~

Kristoff watched the palace film with people that night, telling himself he wasn’t hoping to see a certain redhead but knowing he was. The square was too full of humans though, and when all the lucky had filed into the place, Kristoff turned to his rented room and the stables with Sven. 

~*~ 

Kristoff woke with a start as someone shook his shoulder. A delighted and frightened Hans was there, valiantly trying to keep his face schooled and partially failing. Kristoff began getting to his feet, wiping hay and dirt off himself. 

“What did you do?” 

“You were right, she  _ was _ dangerous! Ice powers!”

Kristoff felt a weight settle in his stomach. “What did you do?” He asked again, slow and lower pitched.

Hans swallowed, suddenly a bit hesitant. “I asked Princess Anna to marry me. And she said yes.”

Kristoff raised an eyebrow and sighed. “Do you know what patience is at all or do I have to teach you?” 

“I’m a master of patience. However this is a normal and usual part of balls and making agreements with other countries. Quick marriages to secure trades aren’t unheard of. How was I supposed to know the queen would react badly?”

Okay, Kristoff had to give him that when it was explained to him like this. Nobles were weird. 

“Alright but why are you here? Shouldn’t you be with your fiancée?” 

Hans hesitated. “She wanted to go after Elsa right away but I reasoned with her that if Elsa controls ice she probably won’t be cold. This winter is her element.” Hans’ eyes met Kristoff’s “I also told her I knew someone who could navigate the mountains and woods.”

Kristoff’s shoulders tensed and he pushed Hans against the wall of the stables, roughly but not nearly hard enough to hurt him. “Tell me  _ exactly  _ what you told the princess. Word for word. Because hello, there is a  _ witch Hunter  _ as one of her esteemed guests! And I’m already something people don’t trust!” 

“Your highness when I was lost in the mountains a few days from here I was rescued and guided by a mountain man, who ensured the best path and my safety. Let me bargain with him to help us find your sister.” Hans stated in a slightly bored drone that set Kristoff’s hackles up a little. 

“That was verbatim?” 

“Mhm.” 

Kristoff considered and nodded after a long moment, letting Hans off the wall. “Okay. Well...bargaining…” 

“I want to become king.”

“I know. You wanna kill the queen. I cannot believe nobody else noticed your plans.”

“Just so we’re clear. And when I am I can give you whatever you want. Also I probably could have snuck you in there as you are and I doubt anyone would have noticed.” 

“...No” Kristoff returned quietly, not sure how to take the rather scathing assessment of his country’s royal sisters so ignoring it. “as king, you can’t give me anything I want. Just things I need.”

“Name them.”

“A new sled, a new harness for Sven, and money for food and supplies for next winter.” 

He was going to request this to the princess as well, as his goal was, when they were done, he and Hans would be far away from the city, and Hans completely enthralled to him. It would protect the princess and her sister. 

“Consider them yours. If you help.”

“Hans they were already things you promised.” He said, annoyed. “But fine! I’ll help find the queen. However I’m not going to kill her for you.”

Kristoff smirked at him, and Hans began blushing. “I’m not a brainless pawn, your highness-or do you want to be referred to as “your future kingship” now?” 

Hans’ eyes narrowed with unspoken fury. Kristoff smiled calmly back, more gently then. 

“Go to your fiancée, she’s no doubt waiting for you.” 

“That was...something else.”

“I’m not being your slut in the castle.”

“If you mean  _ ours _ it’s still off the table?”

_ That  _ threw Kristoff. “...you like her huh?”

“And I feel we’ll like each other more as time goes. I largely think she’d like you, too.”

Kristoff smiled wryly. “I am flattered.” He was, he definitely was. “But the answer is still no, Hans. I’m not human. I’ll outlive you both. Humans are so fleeting, and your youth is here and gone. I’m going to be like this forever.” Unless he chose to marry but that wasn’t what Hans had offered. Kristoff wasn’t going to force him to offer that. 

“What if I promised, whatever you  _ wanted _ , that you were free to name after the trip?”

“But you’re a liar and we both know that.” 

“I’d tell the truth more if it meant you’d fuck me.”

“I-” he shook his head, thrown off by this. He’d gotten sentiments like this before, yes, but Hans….It wasn’t an expected phrase coming from his mouth. “Well maybe now I won’t.”

Hans grabbed him by the shoulders with a sudden crumbling sort of need. “Kristoff” There was rage, and that was expected, but also fear. 

“...Let’s go find your fiancee, prince. She’s more or less acting queen while Elsa is gone.”

He did, though, let Hans kiss him before they left. Heated, desperate, but short. Although he regretted it as much as Hans looked like he did, there wasn’t much to do. He needed to talk to Anna. There’d been a lot of information presented in a very short amount of time, and Kristoff felt he needed someone to clarify things better. 

~*~

Anna clarified nothing. It was also very clear very quickly there was more going on than what she was saying, but she seemed perfectly convinced it was just this. Elsa had never hurt her, there was an accident with a ledge, a wayward snowball, and Anna and Elsa had been separated, Elsa refusing to see Anna. 

And then powers suddenly, at the coronation. Kristoff smelled troll meddling. 

It also meant the little girl he’d seen get fixed from wayward magic was Anna. There was nobody else it could have been. Alright. Not only would he have to find Elsa, he needed to talk to the trolls. 

Fixing Anna seemed like a rather important detail on top of everything else, honestly. Giving her her real memories, letting her be...well. Herself. 

She was kind though, very kind and it was off putting. While Hans was kind in his own odd way that was mostly a ruse, she was genuine. 

Kristoff saw what Hans meant about her, and his mind kept drifting to the conversation. Both…. 

“-But you see that’s why we need to go now-”

“Your highness.” He said, cutting her off and clasping his hands together. “I’m not letting you or your fiancé out in this weather, with no preparation, in the middle of the night. I’m not. The wolves are going to be panicking since winter, to them, came early. First priority will be food. Tell your guards to protect the town, and then tell the servants to prepare travel equipment.” 

All of her gusto evaporated and she looked at him with large eyes. “But what about Elsa?”

“There’s half melted ice daggers in your ballroom I doubt she’s going to be hurt.” Kristoff said as diplomatically as he could muster.  _ “Please _ , princess. Go get some sleep. I think we all need to rest to prepare for tomorrow.”

Anna did, eventually, see sense, and squeezed Kristoff’s hand gently in thanks as she shook it. 

“Thank you.”

Her hand was warm, warm, warm. And then it was gone. 

~*~

Hans spent the next hour or so on his knees, drooling around Kristoff’s cock. Kristoff’s eyes were on the red head as he gently stroked his hair. When he came, he pulled Hans away and instead slid to his knees beside him after, wrapping him in a hug for a long moment before returning the favor.

“You should go sleep. Make the most of whatever time’s left, Hans.” Kristoff murmured. 

“And where will you be?”

“Getting supplies. And then sleeping.”

He helped Kristoff to his feet, and turned him in the correct direction of the stables door to the castle proper. He’d insisted on staying with Sven and Citron. 

After that it was a matter of buying Anna proper clothes and some hiking tools (“big summer blowout yea?!”) and hoping he had at least some time to rest his eyes when the little ferret of a Duke bounced in front of him, eyes narrowed.

“Certainly have a way about you, don’t you?” Was asked and Kristoff just shrugged. 

“I have the experience. You people need the queen.”

“Prince Hans certrainly enjoys your company.”

Kristoff hesitated. “Sir, do you want to say something?”

The Duke on his part looked a little confused. “Excuse me?”

“The prince isn’t the first diplomat to proposition someone here. Also, he’s been rather interested in maps and the culture, more so now that he’s engaged. Perhaps there was something this morning but…”

But there was more now. And the Duke was guessing. 

However his face softened and he nodded. “A tricky business, this. Still...it’s all odd indeed” he wandered away and Kristoff sighed silently. 

The Duke discovering the hidden folk was the last thing anyone needed. 

After all, Anna had suddenly thrown a wrench in his plans. Operation kidnap Hans no longer. Convince him to find another means for kingship was currently the plan. 


End file.
